Training up a child in the way they are bent

 By J.E. Nickerson

Many parents are familiar with the challenge of raising children a certain way in society. Proverbs 22:6 AMP Classic gives the following parental advice. “Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.” While this is a very familiar scripture for most people, what I want to draw attention to, is the section that says “in keeping with his individual gift or bent.” The importance of training up a child according to the way he is bent, can be seen in way that my parents trained me.

From the time I was a child, I had a natural bent and leading towards certain hobbies and activities. When I was growing up, I loved to draw and write. While many children enjoyed using crayons and drawing in coloring books, I loved using colored pencils. The ability to sharpen the pencil, along with its design, gave me greater control of the art projects I was assigned in school. After school, when I had free time, I spent hours drawing colorful pictures of my house, people and characters from my imagination. When my family saw my natural bent and leaning towards art, my mother purchased many different art books. These taught me how to draw animals, scenery and people. This became the foundation and beginning of my writing and illustration career, later in life.

When I was still a child, I started learning how to use my parent’s Windows desktop computer. My family encouraged me to learn everything I could about the Windows operating system, by purchasing computer classes on disks and allowing me to spend hours tinkering with the computer settings. As I became more and more proficient with the computer, I also was able to change the appearance and functionality of the desktop computer my family used.

The way I was bent and my natural interests, also played a big part in the type of educational materials that my family chose. Since I was home schooled, my mother spent many hours praying and asking God what curriculum she should choose. Because she cared about the way I was bent and wanted to train me in a manner that complimented the gifts and abilities God had put into me, she chose computer based curriculum, along with many writing and art courses.

Instead of forcing me to study at specific times, she showed me the work I needed to do and encouraged me to study the material diligently. She also explained to me that if I concentrated on the lessons and finished the required work early, I would have more time to do the things on the computer that I enjoyed.

This way of studying, taught me how to be self directed. Instead of waiting for my family to give me work to do or assign projects to complete, I looked at the work that needed to be done and scheduled enough time to finish my lessons and have time to pursue my hobbies. This way of thinking also influenced the way I took classes as an adult. When I found a skill I wanted to learn, or was taking a class on a specific topic, I chose online learning that gave me flexibility for my daily routine. With God’s help and the support of my family, I created a schedule that allowed me to write, workout, spend time with family and friends, do housework and fulfill the required amount of time for each class I wanted to take. Many times I was able to finish the class and receive a certificate of completion, months ahead of the mandatory deadline for each class.

Earlier I mentioned that I enjoyed drawing with pencils as a child. When I felt God leading me to become an author, I began to revisit my love for artwork and the lessons I had learned as a child. Instead of relying on someone else to do the artwork for my books, I began to pray and research ways of creating digital art. In response to my prayers, God lead me to ask my parents to help me purchase an iPad and stylus. Because I had enjoyed using colored pencils as a child, I chose to use the Apple Pencil as my stylus of choice. Instead of being limited to artwork that had to be scanned into my tablet and then uploaded into a word processing document, I learned how to use the latest art and drawing apps on the iPad.

While these apps were much more efficient than the ones I had used on the Windows desktop computer growing up, I still relied on the techniques and lessons I had learned as a child, in order to create the most realistic artwork possible for my books. My parent’s decision to follow the biblical pattern of training me according to my natural bent, did not end when I graduated high school. Throughout my adulthood, my family has continued to invest time, energy, spiritual guidance and prayer into my life at every age. My mother prayed for me when I was studying complex or difficult subjects in classes and encouraged me to pursue my love of writing. When my family and I could not afford to publish my books with a traditional publisher, we prayed and I felt lead to choose the self publishing method. This lead to me being able to publish over 26 books, along with creating websites for articles and book promotions that I created in Final Cut Pro. When I was growing up, my family felt lead by God to purchase music programs that taught me about music and digital sound. As an adult, they encouraged me to use Garage Band and Logic Pro, Apple’s music creation apps. This allowed me to create my own music for movies I made, instead of having to pay fees to use other people’s music. The lessons that I took as a child, along with the things that God instilled in me through the guidance of my parents, affected and influenced the music and books I wrote as an adult.

The old saying that children do not come with instruction manuals is very true. There are many people who have written books and offer classes on how to raise your children. But God has also provided a guide, manual and valuable advice for us to use, as we learn how to parent our children. When Solomon, often considered the wisest man who ever lived, wrote the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, he gave us insights about how to raise Godly children. Proverbs 4:2-5 says the following: “For I give you good doctrine [what is to be received]; do not forsake my teaching.When I [Solomon] was a son with my father [David], tender and the only son in the sight of my mother [Bathsheba],He taught me and said to me, Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live.Get skillful and godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation).” Later in his writing, Solomon urges parents to train their children in the way they are bent. This means that parents and children will benefit the most, from sound and Godly wisdom that compliments the natural gifts and abilities that God has put in us. God wants us to prosper and have a successful life, obeying his leading. But in order for us to have the kind of relationship God wants, we as parents, guardians and authority figures in children’s lives, must take the time to let God show us the natural gifts and abilities he has put in the children we are caring for. Training up a child in the way they are bent, to be moral individuals, means teaching them lessons about God and life that compliment their God given abilities.

As we send our kids back to school or reach out to youth and young adults in higher education, we should pray and ask God how we can best train and lead the children and young adults, he has put in our care. Psalm 145:4-6 says the following: One generation will commend your works to another; they will tell of your mighty acts. They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty, and I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds.” Training is a lifelong commitment and there is always something that we can pass along to the next generation. God wants to use the experiences and lessons he has taught us, in order to impact those around us. All we have to do is pray and let God lead us as we train and raise up the next generation.