How to stop living for other people’s approval

 

By J.E. Nickerson

Have you ever chased after someone’s approval, only to be disappointed by their lack of interest in your life? Many people look to friends, colleagues or family for a sense of self justification or worth and value. This can be a self esteem trap and cause us endless heartache and sadness. 

While we should set high standards of excellence for ourselves, when we allow our personal value and self worth to be based on other people’s opinions of us, we are setting ourselves up for eventual heartache. That is because people’s opinions vary and change unpredictably. The person we are hoping to win the approval of, may never fully care about us in the way we want them to. I have often heard the expression that if you live for the approval of other people, you will die from the pain of their rejection. 

Because people can be capricious, their opinions and approval of our lives, is not a safe or stable foundation to build our self esteem on. 

Instead, we must turn to God who said he does not change. We never have to guess what mood God is in on a daily basis or if he is interested in our life and our feelings. Unlike people who get busy with life, lose interest in the things around them and have emotional ups and downs, God is not moody or capricious. He said in the Bible that his goodness and promises are everlasting. He remains the same yesterday, today and forever. He will not suddenly lose interest in our lives or forget to listen to our prayers. Jesus promised in the New Testament that God watches over us with great care, like a loving father and provides for our needs. He cares about everything we go through. 

Instead of chasing after the approval of people and basing our lives on the acceptance of others, ask God to help you trust his goodness. Learning to  build a stable and steady life based on God’s love for you, begins when we release ourselves from the burden of living for the approval of others.